Funny Jokes: People often say that laughter is the best medicine. It is no secret that humor is a powerful tool for helping people feel better.
can make people laugh and relieve tension. They are a great way to break the ice and get the conversation flowing. Here are some of the most popular funny jokes of all time:
“That’s right,” says the man, “I’m here to see my girlfriend.”
The bartender says, “Sorry sir, but she doesn’t work here.”
The man replies, “That’s OK because I don’t drink.”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
How do you know when you’re in a Chinese restaurant?
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
What do you call it when a pig goes up a tree? A hog!
What’s black and white and red all over? The newspaper!
Why did the man cross the road twice? He was going to get some more bacon!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit in
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What’s black and white and read all over? A newspaper.
Why do they call it a dog? Because it’s a dog!
I’m not stupid, I just have a lot of really smart friends.
Did you hear about the guy who walked into a bar?
What did the farmer say when he was asked to dance?
What do you get when you cross a cow with a chicken? A milk cow!
How do you make a small fortune in three days? Start with a large one!
Alligator Pie, what’s in it? Alligator meat, alligator eggs, and alligator blood!
What message did the sea send to the sand?
Nothing; it just waved.
Why was the sailor unable to learn his alphabet?
He was often getting lost in C.
What do attorneys wear when they appear in court?
What do cows like reading the most?
What do you name a camera that is unpredictable?
A non-canonical Canon.
Why did the invisible guy decline the employment opportunity?
He couldn’t envision himself doing such an act.
Why is it that a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Then it would be one foot.
Why is grass so perilous?
It is densely packed with blades.
What is the proper way to repair a damaged pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch as a backdrop.
Funny Jokes For Adults
Have you heard about the moon’s first restaurant?
It had excellent meals but lacked atmosphere.
What message did one ocean send to the other?
Nothing was spoken; it just waved.
Do you want to hear a joke about construction?
Sorry for the inconvenience; I’m currently working on it.
Have you heard about the circus fire?
It took place under tents!
Why are ducks feathered?
To suffocate their buttocks quacks!
What distinguishes a hippo from a zippo?
One is rather hefty, while the other is little lighter.
What is the purpose of a nosy pepper?
It attracts jalapeos.
Why is it that you should never trust stairs?
They’re always up to mischief.
When is a joke considered a ‘dad’ joke?
When it becomes obvious.
How did the bullet lose his job?
He was let go.
Clouds wear what sort of shorts?
I put 10 puns into a competition to see which one would win.
None of the 10 puns worked.
How do you determine the length of a snake?
They measure in inches—they lack feet.
Where does a single-leg waitress work?
How does a home dress?
Why are toilets perpetually so skilled at poker?
They are constantly flushed
Why is Peter Pan always in the air?
Due of the fact that he Neverlands. (I like this joke because it never fails to amuse me.)
Have you heard the myth about butter?
Never mind; I should refrain from spreading it.
On a wind farm, two windmills stand. One can inquire, ‘What is your preferred style of music?’
‘I’m a huge metal fan,’ the other responds.
The Alzheimer’s club’s first rule is…
Where are we now?
I removed the shell off my racing snail in the hope of speeding him up.
However, if anything, it exacerbated his sluggishness.
What do you get when you treat a cow well?
Milk that has been spoiled.
How is NASA’s celebration organized?
They inhabit the world.
What is the most attractive feature of Switzerland?
I’m not sure, but the flag is a significant positive.
You know, it was so chilly in Washington, D.C. the other day that I spotted a politician’s hands in his pockets.
How many tickles does an octopus need to laugh?
Why is it that Dracula has no friends?
To be honest, he’s an absolute pain in the neck.
My instructors warned me that I would never accomplish to anything due to my procrastination.
“Just wait!” I told them.
Funny Jokes For kids
How did one toilet communicate with the other?
You seem flushed.
What are your thoughts on the new moon diner?
The food was excellent, but there was little atmosphere.
Why did the dinosaur go into the highway?
Because the chicken had not yet been hatched.
Why is it that Elsa from Frozen is unable to have a balloon?
Due to the fact that she will “let it go, let it go.”
Which musical instrument has been discovered in the bathroom?
A toothpaste tube.
What was the purpose of the child bringing a ladder to school?
Because she desired attendance at a high school.
What is the proper term for a dog magician?
Abracadabrador, abracadabrador, abracadabrador.
Where may you come upon an elephant?
The same location where you last saw her.
How do you win a squirrel’s affection?
Take on the persona of a nut.
What do you call two birds that have fallen in love?
How does a scientist maintain her breath freshness?
With the aid of experi-mints.
How do fake teeth compare to stars?
They emerge around dusk.
Which structure in your town has the most stories?
The municipal library.
What could possibly be worse than discovering a worm in your apple?
Discovering half of a worm.
What is the preferred snack of a computer?
What message was sent from one volcano to the other?
I scorch you.
How do we know the ocean is hospitable?
What is a tornado’s favorite game?
How is the moon’s hair cut?
It is eclipsed.
How can you communicate with a giant?
Make use of large words.
What animal is always present during baseball games?
It is a bat.
What falls in the winter yet is never harmed?
What did the Dalmatian have to say after lunch?
That was spot on.
What prompted the child to cross the playground?
To go to the next slide.
How do you refer to a droid that takes the long route?
Detour on R2.
Funny Jokes To Tell
Did you know that every time you jump on a trampoline, the season changes?
No matter what time of year it is, it is always spring.
Why was the skeleton unable to attend the dance?
Because he lacked a companion.
What do you call a musician who is having difficulties?
A guy who has been tripled.
Where do snowmen save their money?
Within a snowbank.
What is the proper term for a religious person who sleepwalks?
A wandering Catholic.
Are you familiar with the carrot detective?
He was always able to get to the heart of the matter.
What washes up on the world’s tiniest beaches?
How did one elevator communicate with the other?
I believe I’m about to get a cold.
What occurred when a faucet, a tomato, and some lettuce competed in a race?
What do you name a belt that includes a watch?
A complete waste of time.
Why did the tomato get a crimson hue?
It became aware of the salad dressing.
What happened to the grape when it was stepped on?
It emitted a little amount of wine.
Why are skeletons so averse to fighting?
They just lack the courage.
A Funny Joke To Tell Your Crush
What do you call a coughing pony? A tad raspy.
What is the proper term for someone who has a rubber toe? Roberto.
Why did the skeleton show up alone at the party? He was alone.
What did one shark remark to the other when they were both eating clownfish? Hmmmm, this tastes strange!
What do runners consume before to a race? Nothing, they move quickly!
Why do melons marry? Due to the fact that they are cantaloupe.
What do you name a factory that sells exclusively high-quality goods? A satisfactory result!
Do you want to hear a construction joke? Never mind, I’m still at it!
What is the proper term for a dog magician? Abracadabrador, abracadabrador, abracadabrador!
Avoid becoming alarmed if a fat guy dressed in a red suit places you in a large red bag. He is only granting my Christmas desire of meeting you.
Some individuals fall from their bicycles; others fall from trees. However, the simplest way for you to fall… is to fall in love with me.
Please accept my apologies: I recognize that I cannot erase what happened in the past, but may I make amends by being a part of your future?
I’m a jobless man with a certificate in snuggling, a certification in caring, and a bachelor’s degree in kissing. Do you have a position available for me?
I believe our lips should touch for a casual business or social gathering.
Hey! I believe you’ve misplaced something. [What?] Your criteria. How are you? My name is.
Funny Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend
Why should you never end a relationship with a goaltender?
Due to the fact that he is a keeper.
What did one boat communicate with the other?
“Are you up for a little row-mance?”
Who is present?
Olive. Olive, who are you?
Olive you, and it makes no difference who knows it.
I adore you with all of my heart.
I’d say my heart, but it’s not quite as large.
You are comparable to my asthma.
You have the ability to steal my breath away.
You are similar to dandruff.
I just cannot shake you from my mind, no matter how hard I try.
Guess what’s for dinner?
You are identical to my automobile.
You’ve driven me insane.
How is a boyfriend different from a condom?
Condoms have undergone a transformation.
They have ceased to be thick and insensitive!
How come girlfriends are compared to parking spaces?
The desirable ones have already been claimed!
What makes a bike different from a boyfriend?
A bicycle is kicked first and then utilized. A boyfriend is first abused before being kicked.
Why is it so difficult to meet sensitive, kind, and attractive men?
They already have significant others.
How can you know whether your guy is content?
Who gives a damn?
Today was quite hot…
I nearly contacted my ex-boyfriend to inform him that I was involved in something questionable.
What do you name a guy constructed entirely of garbage?
When would you want the companionship of a man?
When he has it!
How are you going to get your lover to perform sit-ups?
Between his toes, place the remote control.
What does a good employee have in common with a boyfriend?
They are always early.
Boyfriends, on the other hand, are similar to blue jeans.
They seem attractive for a while but ultimately fade and must be replaced.
What are the similarities between a lover and mascara?
Both flee at the first indication of emotion.
What makes a couch different from a lover watching Monday Night Football?
The couch does not continually solicit beer.
What does a boyfriend consider to be a romantic evening?
What does a boyfriend consider to be truthful in a relationship?
I’m going to tell you his true name.
Why do only 10% of lovers reach heaven?
Because if everyone attended, it would be referred to as hell.
For supper, my partner enjoys eating veggies that resemble him.
It’s fortunate that he’s a cute-cumber.
Love is like to passing gas.
If you try to push it, you will end yourself in a mess.
“I love you this much,” a T-Rex told his lover as he extended out his arms.
To which the girlfriend remarked, “That is a pittance!”
A couple is dining in a posh restaurant. The lady requests that the guy say something to her that would cause her heart to race.
Funny Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend Over Text
What do you name a bee that is unable to decide? Perhaps.”
How much grain does a pirate pay? A pirate.”
How do you refer to a pig that does karate? A loin of pork.”
How do you refer to a common potato? A remarker.”
How do you refer to an alligator wearing a vest?” A detective.”
What distinguishes a hippo from a Zippo? A hippo is rather large, although a Zippo is somewhat lighter.”
What statement did the atom make after the loss of an electron? ‘I’m going to have to keep an eye on them.'”
“Why was the scarecrow honored? Because he excelled in his specialty.”
Have you heard about the French cheese factory that exploded? Nothing remained just de Brie.”
Why did the can crusher resign from his position? Due to the fact that it was soda pressing.”
How do astronomers throw parties? They inhabit the globe.”
How did the nut express himself while pursuing the other nut?” “My name is cashew.”
At what point does a joke become a father joke?” When it becomes obvious.”
Seriously Funny Jokes
What good is a bed if you are unable to sleep in? A stream.
Why did the teacher’s eyes seem to be crossed? She lacked control over her pupils.
What begins with the letter E, finishes with the letter E, and contains just one letter? A Letter Envelope
How does the water communicate its greetings? It sways.
What is the source of illumination in a soccer stadium? A football match.
What animal is more intelligent than a talking parrot? A spelling competition.
Which state in the United States has the tiniest soft drinks? (As in, “mini-soda”).
Why couldn’t the leopard engage in a game of hide and seek? Because he was always being noticed.
Apparently, you cannot use the password “beef stew.” This is not beef stroganoff.
Why did the drum snooze? It had been beaten.
Where do hamburgers do their dances? They make their way to the meat-ball.
Why did the tomato get a crimson hue? It became aware of the salad dressing.
Why should you be prohibited from writing with a broken pencil? For the simple reason that it is futile.
What is the proper term for two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Excellent companions.
Why do teddy bears never seem to be hungry? Because they are perpetually filled!
Why did the tree make an appointment with the dentist? It required root canal therapy.
What do elves get if players get athlete’s foot? Mistle-toes.
Why was the pony unable to sing? Due to the fact that she was a bit raspy.
Where do cows go to have fun? The moooo-viesssssssssssssss
How do you refer to a pig that does karate? A loin of pork.
How is NASA’s celebration organized? They inhabit the world.
Why did Adele dare to cross the street? “Hello from the other side!” to sing.
What scurries around a yard without moving? A wall.
Which sweet is the astronaut’s favorite? Mars chocolate bar.
Where do sheep go to be shorn? The baa-baa establishment.
Why are cemeteries surrounded by gates? Because people are clamoring to get access.
What happens when a snake meets a pie? It’s a pie-thon!
Why is Peter Pan always in the air? He is never able to land.
Really Funny Jokes
Is it acceptable for a youngster to refuse to nap?”
Which country’s capital is expanding the most rapidly?” “Ireland. Every day is a new day in Dublin.”
Once upon a time, I had a dream that I was swimming in a sea of orange soda. It was more of a phantasmagorical sea.”
Did you know corduroy pillows are fashionable right now? They are garnering attention.”
Have you heard about the school kidnapping? It’s all well; he awoke.”
A cheeseburger enters a bar. ‘Sorry, we do not provide meals here,’ the bartender adds.”
I was once let go by a canned juice firm. Evidently, I was unable to focus.”
I used to be able to play piano entirely by ear. Now I rely on my hands.”
Have you ever attempted to capture a cloud? I tried yesterday but failed.”
I’m following a seafood-only diet. I am a food consumer. I see food and consume it.”
Why was the scarecrow honored? Because he excelled in his specialty.”
I created a pencil by combining two erasers. It was futile.”
How is a Kleenex made to dance? Include a little boogie!”
I’m now reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s difficult to put down!”
Have you heard of the inventor of the knock-knock joke? He was the winner of the ‘no-bell’ award.”