Home Statuses 250+ FUNNY Quotes for your Facebook status Updates 2020

250+ FUNNY Quotes for your Facebook status Updates 2020

by Love Messages

Funny Facebook status updates are becoming a popular way to tell the world about your day-to-day activities on the Internet. If you don’t have much time to sit around and play around with websites, you can just tell your friends about what you’ve been up to online and make sure they know about it. This is a great way to get your friends and family involved in your life online.

With a little bit of effort, you can tell people what you’re doing and be sure they’ll come and talk to you.

If you’re on Facebook needing a good status to fully express what you feel is sure thing to happen, but guess what? You are on the perfect page to get all the funny status updates for facebook! Here we have some of the funniest statuses you will find in the net.

Give your Facebook profile a fun, unique and newest status ever! Check out these funny Facebook status updates and funny facebook posts that your friends will love.

Funny Facebook Status Updates


We have one-liner funny facebook status, funny shorts for all ages! Read, scroll and don’t be shy to copy and share with loved ones.

Facebook is a social media platform for all people, so why must you be left behind? Join the crowd and make sure you have the best status for your Facebook. Check out some of our collection below.

Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.

Lucky for you, mirrors can’t laugh out loud.

Time is precious. Waste it wisely.

If something’s not going right, try left.

Wife: I’m pregnant, what do you want it to be? Husband: A joke.

Why bother reading books? We have Eminem; he can read a whole story in 4 minutes.

About to dance my feet silly! Smile while you still have teeth.

Relationship Status: COMING SOON

I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.

I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and if that doesn’t work out for you, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Keep calm and know Google can help you find a way to fix almost every problem.

If not it will tell you who can fix it. It hurts when you go to unfriend someone, and you find they’ve beaten you to it!

You can’t be late until you show up.

Back in 5 minutes (If not, read this status again).

A big shout-out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money! Hi, I’m James.

Let’s bond. T.G.I.A. (Thank goodness I’m awesome!)

Sometimes I prefer to use my face as emoticons.

I think it’s cool how the word “OK” is a sideways person!

Facebook Clever Statuses


Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

When I get a pimple on my tongue, I always feel guilty in case I’ve told a white lie.

I dance like a car dealerships inflatable tube man.

I tried being normal once.

Most boring hour of my life.

You didn’t notice that that I used a word twice in this sentence.

A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

The first five days after the weekend are always hard.

I am 100% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.

At first, I didn’t like my beard; then it grew on me.

Broken pencils are pointless. “What’s up cake?” “Muffin much.”

I don’t have goals. Goals are for soccer. I’m not soccer.

Facebook clever status updates

 

Funny Status for Facebook that will get likes


Why didn’t you reply to my text? Well, how am I supposed to reply to LOL?

Line dancing was originally invented by women waiting in line for the bathroom.

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.

Looking at school books and thinking: what a waste of a tree!

Nobody around here treats me like a glamour model, so I’m just going to sit here taking selfies by myself.

Until you get caught.

May your life someday be as good as you make it out to be on Facebook.

LIKE if you hate it when someone tags you in a photo, you look horrible in because they happen to look so good in it.

Phew! Thank you, warning label.

Friends are like boobs: some are real, some are fake.

Birthdays are good for your health.

Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

 

Deep facebook status updates

Deep Facebook status updates that will get a lot of Comments


Haircuts are the reason why I have trust issues.I wasn’t drunk; I was just testing if the plant was as soft as my bed.

I forgot to work out today.

That’s five years in a row! If I went to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work.

I put the ‘Me’ in ‘Someone,’ and things get awkward.

Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you turn on is the microwave!

You look like I need a drink. Trust me; you can dance.

That awkward moment when you have a crush on the most inconvenient person possible.

That awkward moment when you wave to a stranger on Facebook by accident.

I hate it when I’m singing a song, and the artist gets the words wrong.

I’m just cooler than you.

That moment when you try talking to someone you’re hot for, and you say GFBLQRINABAH instead of “I’m good thanks!”

The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

Vodka I’m not weird.  Dip me in chocolate and call me dessert.

That moment when someone you met for 3 seconds sends you a Facebook friend request.

 

Funny facebook status updates

Inspirational Facebook Status Updates that will get likes


That moment when the random person you just met asks for your full name, and you know it’s because they want to stalk you on Facebook.

They are not a temperature.

I just don’t know how to react when someone sends me a selfie.

I mean, should I say “Wow!

You really got yourself at the perfect angle in that restroom!”

Dear friends, please don’t tag me in a photo that is so prehistoric you have to scan the photo to make it digital.

I said I didn’t want to twerk! Cheese.

Milk’s leap towards evolution.

No one here is into studying history, sincerely everybody born before 2010.

Don’t think too much or you could create a problem that wasn’t even there.

Without candy crush, I’d be like a kid with no candy!

Telling me you’re going to unfollow me is like announcing you’re leaving a party you weren’t even invited to.

I did not say I didn’t want to work.

If Twitter wasn’t around in the olden days why is there a hashtag button on landlines?

I press all the “Try Me” buttons on toys and then walk away LIKE A BOSS.

Me without you is like Facebook with no friends, YouTube with no videos, and Google with no results.

Girls are beautiful, not hot.

My mum’s so old-fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love.

She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you’re Pa is in the hospital LOL.

I’m following you on Twitter because my mum always told me to follow my dreams. Everyone is normal until you find them on Twitter.

Tired? There’s a nap for that.

The hardest things our kids will do in 20-30 years is finding a username which isn’t already taken.

I’m a good girl. With a lot of bad habits.

Aren’t we ALL internet explorers? I’ve been known to flash people (with my camera).

When someone says you are what you eat, and you’re eating the chicken’s bum.

A day without sunlight is night.

Now read without the word dog Were you dropped as a baby?” “Yeah into a pool of sexy!”

Well, I didn’t know I logged into fookbook today.

I can resist anything, except temptation.

Sitting in class wondering who would die if one of the fans fell down.

I’m pretty sure you’re not a car, get an actual photo for your profile.

If you have a problem with me write it on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope and shove it up your big behind. If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in a really good position to kiss my butt.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog!

I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

We live in a society where Jumia orders get to your house before the police.

When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.:D

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

Today I sent out a text saying, “Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?” 12 people called me…I need smarter friends.

God made everything that has life, the rest is made in China.

Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Whether it’s a special occasion or simply another day on the calendar, your loved one is sure to appreciate sending them any of these funny facebook status updates!

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